Apr 23 2008
I am Jack’s raging bile duct.
Or, perhaps I just have a flair for the dramatic.
That, my friends, is a quote from Fight Club.
I remember that movie. I watched it back in my previous life. Before I became the person I generally despise. Boy, those were the days, huh?
I say all that with a chuckle, tongue in cheek. Because I don’t really despise myself. My work-blood is all pumping, I’m hyped up with career adrenaline. It’s kinda fun.
And I’m busy. So god-awful busy. If you’ve written me an email or left me a voice mail or if you’ve thrown yourself prone in front of me bleeding and begging and crying, I’ve probably ignored you.
Because I’m IMPORTANT.
That’s the part I hate. I’m so busy I’m dropping balls left and right, things are falling through the big, gaping cracks. I’m not dotting my i’s or even crossing my t’s! OH MY GOD I’M FAILING TO CLOSE THE LOOP ON THINGS.
Fortunately, I can still turn an overused cliche’ with panache.
Right now, I’m in the airport in Minneapolis. I’m heading home. I have a 4:30 AM conference call. Four fucking thirty AM!! Why didn’t I say NO to that? Because I am so important, of course. They must need me desperately to drag me out of my bed at four fucking thirty AM. I’m indispensable, irreplaceable, in high demand. It’s good for the ego, this bullshit I’m spoon-feeding myself.
DON’T THESE PEOPLE KNOW I’M A SLACKER?
Next week, I have to leave town again. Connecticut and then back up to Minneapolis. That’s how important I am. Too important to answer your emails or return your phone calls. Too important to … what? What was I saying again? I got distracted by something shiny. Important people like me have no brain cells left when it’s 8 o’clock at night.
So if you are wondering where I have been, I’ve been off being Busy and Important. Probably way too important to spend time with the likes of you. Or the rest of my Internet peeps.
Oh, who am I kidding, I am being worked like an indentured servant here!! Help, help - someone come rescue me…
I miss you, Internet.
