Nothing to See Here…

Here I go again. 

Yesterday, during my meetings (I’m in London) we were on a break and everyone was checking email and such.  One very nice person (Hi, Victoria!) was talking about Googling oneself to see what might come up.  After that, there was a lot of Googling going on.  We Googled the boss, and who knows who else was Googling whom.

But if someone did Google me, they might have landed here.  If you know my full name, you need only Google it and my blog shows up pretty high on the list.  It used to be first, but now it’s relegated to number three.  No idea why it’s gotten such high ranking - there are other prominent people with my name:  a writer of children’s books, a professor of Spanish, etc.  Little ol’ me… why would I even make the first page much less the third entry.  I only know of ONE site on the entire vast Internet that has both my full name and my blog link.  From that page, Google has made me the third entry on a name search.  And there is nothing I can do about it at all.

I can’t figure out how I feel about being ‘found’ here at my blog.  On the one hand, when all the Googling was going on yesterday, I felt nervous - I was waiting to be outed.  On the other hand, what would it give away?  That my marriage isn’t perfect?  That I struggle with weight?  That I enjoy writing?  That I married a pervert?  That my kids are a riot?  That some days I don’t love my job?  That I’m still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up?  That I’m human?

I don’t know that I give away too much of myself here.  I’m not terribly guarded, but then again I’m not all that guarded in real life either.  I do, however, segment my life and share parts of it with certain audiences.  For example, I don’t talk about my sex life with most of my audiences (not with work people, not with my kids, parents, etc.) but I speak fairly frankly about it here, where I perhaps feel a bit anonymous.

So while I’m of two minds on this, I suppose in the final analysis, I’m okay with being found by whoever might find me.  Hi, finder!  Welcome to my blog…

And to my faithful readers (both of you!) — hello!  I’ve been terribly busy this summer and I haven’t been a very regular blogger.  After this week, I believe things will quiet down (I keep saying that, don’t I?) and I’d love to catch up with everyone then.  In the mean time, ask me any ridiculous question you like in my comments and I’ll take those on as post topics for the near future.  Meaning of life, quantum physics, whatever.  Just let me know!