Nothing to See Here…

Honestly, you should answer that question NO.  Mister Rogers might find that rude, but it’s prudent advice.

Ask Mister Neighbor on JustLinda’s right how it is to be my neighbor.  Him, the man who meticulously manicures his lawn, his lush, green lawn.  I think he’s secretly in love with it.  He’s probably written it into his will.  And, poor guy, we moved in next to him and, well, let’s just say the property line is very clear (brown grass on left, green grass on right.)  He must hate us.

In fact, he might be the one who called the authorities on us.  We were CITED… our garage door needs a fresh coat of paint - the protective finish must have come off when we power-washed it last spring and it looks a little dull.  I didn’t know it was illegal to have a dull garage door.  Seems to me that if dull neighbors are allowed, a dull garage door should be too.  But evidently, the county can take you to court if your garage door isn’t painted brilliantly enough.

I’m thinking of FUCHSIA.  A nice, vibrant coat of fuchsia.  What do you think?

The neighbors also probably hate us because of our cars.  Oh, they are nice cars, really, they just don’t fit in the garage.  Because of the junk.  The garage is full of crap and there is no room for vehicles, so we park on the driveway.  In my neighborhood, NO ONE seems to park in the driveway.  Just us.  Brown grass, faded garage door, and cars outside the garage.

I’m surprised they haven’t excommunicated us (or whatever neighbors do in such situations.)

I’ve been bitching abut the damn garage for three years and my husband finally started working on it recently.  I had called our trash pick up company and asked them to pick up a load of large items (old bed frame, old love seat, etc.) so Bill was forced to drag a bunch of crap to the curb.   

I could practically feel the neighbors talking.  I especially liked the part where people of questionable origin would stop and pick through it.  That was lovely.  I think that may have been just what we needed to secure our place as Least Desirable Neighbors of the Year.  Or of the decade, maybe.

In another week, we’ll be able to park at least one car in the garage and shortly after both of them will fit.  We’ve also hired someone to paint the garage door (and as much as I’d like to do it fuchsia, we’ll stick with tan, I suppose) and in a few weeks everyone will have browning grass so ours will be less conspicuous. 

Maybe there is hope yet. 

One thing I can assure you of - we’ll be the first to turn on our Christmas lights!  Please don’t ask me why.  I can’t bear to say it out loud.