Nothing to See Here…

This is Raena.  She is my baby and this is her first day of school ever.

Raena is pronounced RAY’-nuh.  Her name is not ray-EE-nuh nor is it ruh-NAY.  You can call her Rae or Rae-Rae or Precious or Raena-Roo or Bitsy or Bitsy-Boo or Baby Girl.  You might also try calling her Jadyn, Sarah, Amber, Katie, or Jenny because I frequently toss those names out in some freaky early onset episodes of parental Alzheimer’s.  I sometimes even call her Cricket, which is our poodle’s name.  It all seems to work.

She is just past 2 years old.  She talks well, but I am scared you won’t understand her.  Let me give you some tips.

Dinner-ella is CINDERELLA.  Rae-Rae loves Cinderella.  She gets really excited when she sees anything with Cinderella on it.

Dare-uh is her sister, Sarah.  Day-ee is her sister, Jadie.  Am-er is her sister, Amber.  Or Am-er might also refer to her sister Katie (she’s not that bright).

I-bwanky means MY BLANKY.  When she starts saying I-bwanky it means she’s tired and wants her blanket.  Only her red monster blanket.  No other blanket will do.  Do not ever ever lose that blanket.  If you lose that blanky, I shall take all of you down with me.  None of us will ever sleep again.  This I promise you.

MY POT means my spot.  Probably, you are sitting in the place she wants to sit.  She is quite fond of kicking us off a chair or a place on the sofa she considers as being her spot.  As far as I know, she doesn’t have any pot at all.  Please don’t call CPS.

I-keered means I’m scared.  When she hears an unfamiliar noise, she’s always scared.  She needs to be held and hugged when she is keered.

I-haa-dat? is a question that means “Can I please have that?”  Let me forewarn you that the only right answer to this is ‘yes’.  When some brave sole tries to answer “I-haa-dat?” with a NO, they bring upon them all the fury that a blue-eyed two year old baby girl can muster.  Which is a lot.

If you ever set a bowl of grapes on the table, please do not turn your back.  If you turn away even for a millisecond, the bowl will be empty and my girl will have twenty-seven grapes in her sweet little mouth all at once.  Do you know the Heimlich?  Please say yes.

I’m sorry about the drool.

She says NO a lot but we’re not quite sure she knows what it means.  “Do you love your mommy?” “NO!”  “Are you wearing your new shoes?”  “NO!”  There is only one sure-fire way to see if she is actually listening and that is “Do you want some ice cream?”  Usually she’ll say “NO!” and then realize her mistake and say “Yes!  Yes!  Eye-creeeeeee….” and you’ll be stuck trying to explain to her that it was just a test to see if she was really listening.  She doesn’t really understand the concept of test, though.

Rae-Rae hates having her dipe changed.  She will run away when she sees a diaper change in the cards.  If you are lazy like me, you won’t want to chase her around so you’ll set traps.  You’ll say things like “Rae, would you like it if I gave you a pony?” and she will be drawn to you.  In order to keep it intellectually honest, I always add “This is a trap.  I am merely trying to draw you into my trap.” so that I don’t have to feel guilty for tricking her.  She doesn’t understand the trap part.  She also doesn’t understand that my question is merely a hypothetical about whether she would like something or not but there is no actual pony in the end. 

Oh, Miss Bumblebee Teacher, I know you’re scowling at my cruel and underhanded ways, but let me assure you that her survival in this family is based upon her learning these sorts of lessons.  Besides, eventually she’ll be potty trained and it won’t matter anymore.  Will you potty train her there in the Bumblebee room?  That would be fantastic, thanks!  I’ll give you an apple-shaped ornament with your name inscribed to hang on your Christmas tree in late December to show my appreciation for the potty training.

My Rae-Rae has a four year old sister and thus she knows how to stand up to pre-schooler terrorism.  She may look tiny, but Little Girl can hold her own.   She has wicked good aim and likes to hurl heavy objects when things don’t go her way.  For example, she might hurl something at any adult not paying proper attention to her.  You’ve been warned - pay attention to my girl or learn to duck when you see her launch a matchbox car your way.

There is one thing she does that will annoy the crap out of you.  I only know this because it already annoys the crap out of all of us.  See, like most two year olds, she drinks from a sippy cup.  Milk, water, whatever.  Rae requires her sippy cups to be full.  She will not accept a cup that isn’t completely FULL.  So if you give her a full cup, and she takes a big drink, well, she’ll give it back to you to fill it up again.  She will not drink again until you refill her cup.

We know, we know - we’ve TRIED to break her of it, but she’ll not waiver.  This is non-negotiable, she’s quite insistant.  And remember what I said about heavy items and good aim?  A mostly full sippy cup upside the head can smart a little.  Trust me on that.

In return for her full sippy cup obsession, my sweet precious baby girl takes loooong naps.  Naps that are four hours in length.  And she’s a little dream baby about going down for her nap too.  You’re welcome.

I’m scared.  I’m scared that my baby is going to be scared.  I’m scared you won’t understand her words.  I’m scared you won’t be able to tell when she needs a hug.  I’m scared you won’t be able to take my place in her go-to-sleep routine *. How can I leave my baby with you?  How can I not stay there all day and be there for her? 

Oh, I know she’ll be fine.  I’ve had four of them before her and they’re all fine.  Everybody is fine.  Fine, fine, fine.  But these days… these first days are so hard.

So, Miss Bumblebee Room Teacher, can I ask for your indulgence?  Can you spend a few extra minutes looking after my baby today?  Can you watch her gorgeous blue eyes to make sure she’s not scared or unsure?  And if she is scared or unsure, can you guide her and reassure her?  Can you give her extra hugs?  If she cries, can you distract her and amuse her?  And if she doesn’t stop crying, will you call me?  Because I’ll come; I’ll be there for my baby as quickly as I can.

My baby is going to be a Bumblebee and I’m going to be a nervous wreck.

Regards,

JustLinda

* Rae-Rae’s go to sleep routine:  put her blanky over your shoulder and give her the pacifier.  She’ll lay her head on your shoulder and pat your back.  Talk to her reassuringly, tell her how special she is and that she’s beautiful and funny and there is no body else like her in the whole world.  Rub her back and kiss her soft forehead.  Rock back and forth.  Stand there for 10 minutes with her in your arms thinking about how life just can’t possibly get anymore perfect than the sweetness of this very moment and how you cannot bear to lay her down.  Wonder how much longer you’ll be able to do this with her before she outgrows it.  Smooth down her curls and sigh.  Then lay her down and cover her up with I-bwanky.  When she smiles up at you from behind the paci, spend another minute reveling in how perfect your life is.  Then quietly walk away and let her have her nap.

Quietly walk away and let her have her nap start growing up…