Nothing to See Here…

A few weeks ago, one workday afternoon around 2PM, I was working hard in my office (shut-up!) doing really hard work, you know - the really hard but REWARDING kind of hard work that creates buckets of value for the company that employees me.  That’s what I was doing.  Working hard.  I was not surfing or blogging.  Anyway…

My desk phone rang.

Now, sure, phones do tend to ring at offices but I suppose I was so engrossed in the hard work (shut-up!) that it took me by surprise.

I looked down at the caller ID and noticed it was a British phone number.  Now, I get called from those blokes all the time, since my boss is there and many of my colleagues are there and my company is headquartered there.  But, generally by 2PM my time, they’ve all long gone to the pub.  It is unusual for me to get a call so late.  There is a six hour time difference so the local time was 8PM for whomever was calling.

I reluctantly pulled myself away from the riveting work I was doing (shut-up!) and answered it - fearing some sort of big Strategic Sourcing emergency!  (Which?  There really aren’t any, to be honest, but I needed to know why the call at 8PM.  Surely it was important.)

And it was.  Oh, it was very important.

It was my boss and he needed to know what ‘teabagging’ was.

(faint)

“Excuse me?” I asked.

“Do you know what it means?  I need to know.  We’re all out at dinner and Andrew has just made a comment using the term teabagging quite innocently, but Victoria was shocked!  Victoria is too embarrassed to tell us what it means, but has made us promise not to use the term around any Americans.  So of course, I thought to call you and ask what it was.”

I was running through a list in my head… what would HR think of this conversation?  Should I answer him?  How frank should I be?  Should I refuse to answer?  Will it reflect badly on my review (”She delivered splendidly on the cash flow improvement project but simply would not tell me what teabagging was.  Therefore, no bonus this year.”) How cool is it that my boss called to ask me about teabagging?  I can’t wait to blog about this.  The thoughts were flying through my head fast and furiously.

I said “Hang on.  Let me close my office door.”

With the door closed, I tried to explain it delicately.  I said it involves the dangly bits from men , you know, the ones that may kind of sort of resemble teabags and then the strategic placement of those bits on a partner, or in, sometimes involving the facial orifices.  I just couldn’t find the balls to say it right out. (pun! get it? balls? hahah)  I thought he was satisfied with the vague answer I provided, but learned later that he called his wife and made her look it up on Wikipedia and text it to his Blackberry. 

Egads.

So last week, we’re all up in the boonies of upstate New York (I carried a watermelon) and at the dinner table - fourteen of us, mostly Americans, and it comes up again.  My boss says “I tried to get Linda to tell me what teabagging was and she went and closed her door like she was going to and then she didn’t tell me!” 

“I tried!” I said.  “I really DID try!”

At this point, about five other people are asking “What is it?  I don’t know what it means.” 

I looked at my boss and said “OK, Bub - it’s YOUR turn!  You tell them what it means.  Let’s see how well you do it.”

And he did.  Flat out.  No hesitation.  He gave them both of the definitions provided in Wikipedia.  We sat there, my team and my boss and I, and discussed teabagging.  And then we ordered coffee and dessert.  It was lovely.  Surely you’ve been in that situation before, no?

My boss, what a man, what a mentor.  We learn so much from each other every day.

It’s really great when work provides one with lessons to use in real life.  For example, when my 10 year old gets a little older and asks me what teabagging is, I’m going to be very straight forward in my answer.  I will go right to Wikipedia and copy and paste the definition and text it directly to her Blackberry.  While I hide locked in the bathroom. 

Disclaimer:  This story may be entirely fictional, especially if this is HR reading.  Any resemblance to real people or events could possibly be purely coincidental.  And I really was working (shut up!)

ps:  I can’t wait to see the search engine referrals I get from this one!