Jul 12 2006
Reason 4,912 that I’m a dork…
OK, so I’m one of those shallow, vain people who check my blog stats. I could pretend I’m not, but really, what’s the point. I don’t check them as compulsively as I once did, but I do occasionally look in. I like the thrill of seeing an influx of people from some other site that linked to me. It must be how my dad feels going fishing “I snagged another one, Bernie. It must be as big as a damn loaf of Bunny bread!” It’s like an adrenaline rush or something. I’m an overweight 41 year old with 5 kids - I take my highs wherever I can get them (especially since the damn snack machine at work STILL is out of Skittles… which one of you called them? I know you’re only trying to save me from myself but STOP IT! I want my Skittles!)
So I look at the visitor information, where they came from and what pages they are looking at. I love it best during business hours when I see all these corporate domains. Like, wow, someone from the United Weavers of America reads MY BLOG - can you believe it? I didn’t even know the weavers in America had united. Did that make the news by you? And I’m certain that the person from The Washington Post who reads here is just trying to figure out how much moolah he needs to offer me to lure me away from my corporate dronedom into a life of writing, right? RIGHT? If I don’t get going on earning my Pulitzer Prize soon, it may be too late!
But it never fails to shock me how I see my own company name there in the visitor list and - BAM - I immediately get that “Oh, God, they’ve found me.” feeling. You know… like HR will be at my desk any minute? Like my boss now knows I hate my job? Like Toxic Boy knows I call him Toxic Boy?? PANIC. Total panic. I’m busted. I need to delete the blog and disavow all knowledge. OH MY GOD WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?
And then I realize it’s just ME reflected in my stats, my own activity. No one else. Just Linda.
Such a dork.
ps: Yes, I know… based on my Weight Watchers post the other day, I shouldn’t even by THINKING of Skittles. Somebody please wire my jaw shut. PLEASE?
pss: What is the deal with the ugly ORANGE text on my sidebar? I changed the color and it looks lovely on my laptop screen but when I’m docked at work, it looks AWFUL and hideous on my flat screen. Ugh. I apologize. I will fix it soon.
psss: Once I start with these, I really just can’t see to stop. Sort of like with the Skittles.
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