Jul 04 2006
Why I am a superior blogger…
Ha! Got your attention with THAT one, didn’t I???
Hey, remember last week when I had bloggers-block, lost my mojo? Well, phew, that was short lived. I have written and saved FOUR posts just today (and it’s only 1:24 PM on Friday, 30-June). I’m going to have to pace myself on posting them so I don’t scare you all away.
You - yes, you! My reader, my commenter. I don’t want to scare you away because I love you dearly. You give me the attention I so crave. It replaces the love I never received as a child (and if my sister is reading this, I’ll thank her not to set my lie straight for the lovely readers - it’s better for my attention-whoring if they all think I received no love at all in my poor, miserably, lonely childhood!)
So, part of why I’m a superior blogger is because of you. I must be a superior blogger to have such superior readers and commenters. That’s the first proof point.
The second one is more compelling. Where are the haters? Why are there no haters? I mean, COME ON! I’ve blogged about fatness, about breastfeeding, about racism, about PETA and animal cruelty, about the bad attitudes of the childfree, about the Catholic church, I’ve thumbed my nose at etiquette and grammar/usage/punctuation, I’ve called a 3 year old little girl the b-word, I’ve torn apart a book beloved by many mothers on this planet, and I wrote an open letter to President Bush.
NO ONE has challenged me or taken me to task for any of these. NO ONE.
I realize that some people might interpret that to mean that I’m a nobody and that no other people care enough about my mindless internet drivel to comment about how wrong I am. But me, in all my arrogance, I interpret it to mean I am RIGHT about ALL OF IT and obviously a superior blogger to have gotten so many sensitive and important things exactly right without any debate or dissent!
Go, me!!!
And since this is such a vanity-fest dedicated to me (why else would one have a blog, though, really???) I thought I’d add a few more links to some of my own favorite posts, you know, for those of you joining the program late…
I am Linda, Sworn Defender of the Breasts!
The mommy van - it is ankle deep in French fries!
When corporate dronedom meets the mommy domain
Insults and compliments and wet spots and whatnot
How do I love thee, let me count the ways
To be honest, not having any dissenters, any haters, doesn’t really make me feel like a superior blogger. I think that when I finally get some of those I’ll be all like “Wooo-hooo… I must be making an impact if people feel the need to insult and pick a fight!” All the hot-ticket bloggers out there get haters. When I finally get one, I’m not sure there will be room in this blog for my big-ass ego and my verbal diarrhea. But I’m willing to find out…
PS: Even though this post was written on 30-June, today is the 4th of July! Happy 4th of July to all you Americans! Go eateth the hotdogs and drinketh the beer. Long live hotdogs and beer!
