Jun 23 2006
I lost my mojo…
Really, I don’t even know what mojo is, but I’m pretty sure I lost it. I’m ready to run out to the bookstore just to find out How Stella Got Her Groove Back.
I have nothing to say. I cannot think of a single item of interest to blog about. I’ve even checked out on my message boards. WTF? I’m an attention whore, right? I talk and talk and talk about anything and everything. People are generally begging me to shut the fuck up.
And yet? I got NOTHING, people. Nothing. No Thing. Nadda. Zip. Zilch. It’s so bad that I’m using many synonyms just so I can make it look like I have more than I have.
If this was a school paper, it would be double-spaced with 2.5″ margins on both sizes and typed in a fat 14 point font (because, yeah, my teachers never were WISE to that, right?)
All this work stuff, I can’t stop thinking about what I want to be when I grow up, and if I have the energy to reach for it (or, more than that, if I have the balls go for it or even the talent to achieve it).
What do you do when you lose you mojo? Change your hair color? Have an affair? Smoke a joint?
Today I got nothing. I’m going to bust the backspace key on my laptop with how many stupid things I have typed and erased. I got nothing.
Quick, someone get me charged up. Tell me that I’m going to go to hell because I haven’t accepted Jesus into my heart. Tell me that my kids are going to be violent sociopaths because I put them in daycare. Tell me that fat people are just lazy, or that… aw, hell, I’m just too fucking tired to fight about any of that.
Someone, quick - make me laugh. I’ve lost my sense of humor and I can’t seem to find it anywhere. Link me up to something that made you laugh - a blog post, something. INSPIRE ME.
Or else just beam me home into my own bed where my sweet husband can make me feel cared for and pampered.
Something. I’m drowning in self-pity…. hurry…
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