May 22 2006
Do not TAUNT people with liver disease…
I really feel sorry for those poor people with liver disease.
Whenever I see all those potent new drugs advertised on TV, the disclaimers always say not safe for use by those with liver disease. Liver disease people miss out on everything. Why can’t they come up with something that the liver disease people can partake in, too? It’s just NO FAIR!!!
Of course, on the other hand, I feel for those who CAN take these new drugs because evidently every one of them cause diarrhea. You’d think companies so smart as these could figure out how to create a drug that doesn’t cause diarrhea. I’m starting to think they’re doing it on purpose. I bet the toilet paper companies are paying them off under the table.
These drug commercials drive me nuts. The whole bunch of them remind me of my very most favorite Saturday Night Live routine ever. It was one of those fake commercials for a toy called Happy Fun Ball. The whole thing was basically a huge disclaimer. My favorite line is ‘Do not taunt happy fun ball.’ My husband and I use that line on the 9 year old when she’s acting especially volatile. She also has a liquid core which should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at when exposed.
Happy FUN BALL!
-only $14.95-
* Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball.
* Caution: Happy Fun Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
* Happy Fun Ball contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at.
* Do not use Happy Fun Ball on concrete.
Discontinue use of Happy Fun Ball if any of the following occurs:
* Itching
* Vertigo
* Dizziness
* Tingling in extremities
* Loss of balance or coordination
* Slurred speech
* Temporary blindness
* Profuse sweating
* Heart palpitations
If Happy Fun Ball begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.
Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin.
When not in use, Happy Fun Ball should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration…
Failure to do so relieves the makers of Happy Fun Ball, Wacky Products Incorporated, and its parent company Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability.
Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball include an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
Happy Fun Ball has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq.
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
Happy Fun Ball comes with a lifetime guarantee.
Happy Fun Ball
ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!
