Nothing to See Here…

Kid’s say the darndest things.

Actually, I think there are two reasons I have so many little chitlins.  First and foremost, it was the only way I could get 6 or 8 weeks off work.  Yes, I know… the price you pay for that measly short maternity leave is a lifetime of servitude to sharp-tongued little ingrates.  But they’re so cute when they’re kittens babies, they’re just impossible to resist.

The second reason is because from the ages of 2 to about 5 or 6, they entertain the hell out of me.  They come up with the funniest things.  And quite a few of them have made into the family lexicon.

Yesterday, in high winds and ominous clouds, my 4 year old warned me of a possible TOMATO.  I had heard of the B-movie, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, but the threat didn’t get real to me until yesterday when, with eyes as big as saucers and the most serious look on her face, this little tot told me she was scared ’cause it was tomato weather!  She clearly recalled that scene from Wizard of Oz where Dorothy gets caught in the tomato storm and the house flies away. 

Sometimes, they come up with words that make more sense than even the real words they are meant to replace.  Jadyn used to call eye lashes eye flashes.  That part where her arm bent was called her elmo.  Her sister, Sarah, referred to braces (of the orthodontic type) as bracelets.  When I brushed her hair, she would tell me to be careful of the rectangles ’cause she didn’t want it to hurt.  And in the winter, she wore ear-muffins on her ears to stay warm.  My favorite was when she would tell us to turn the TV up a few nachos.  That one remains in use to this day. 

Amber, now 21, can clearly pronounce the letter S.  However, she didn’t master that skill until she was well into her 7th year.  In her brain, she was saying it correctly, but the letter S always came out as a hard G.  So, Aunt Sue was referred to as Aunt Goo.  My brother took sadistic satisfaction out of making her say the word sunglasses.  This came out, of course, as gunglaggeg.  And her butchering of Seven Silver Swans Swam Silently Seaward is just too painful to recollect.

It hurts my heart a little to think that I can’t remember many of the funny things my older two would say.  Katie called shoes ooshes for a long time.   But there were surely dozens more.  I did a fair job of keeping baby books, but so much has been lost.  Things that, at the time, you can’t imagine ever forgetting.  Things that feel indelibly written in your mind.  Somehow they fade and disappear. 

I want to remember everything… their first words, how old they were when they walked, their favorite foods, toys, songs and games.  But the truth of the matter is that I can hardly remember their names.  Most days, I’ll call out to one of them and I might go through 3 names before I finally hit on the right one.  I’m thinking of going to the model a former boss of mine used “Hey, you - the one with the brown hair.”  I could call Sarah the one with the freckles, Raena would be the curly haired one, and Jadie, hmmm, she might have to be the one with the bad attitude.

Fortunately, I am married to The Man Who Forgets Nothing.  While this generally works against me, it has also served me well.  His computer brain keeps track of whether this is girl scout week or not, when practice is, when the game is, whether I have a PTO meeting, when the orthodontist appointment is, who is due for a check-up, that sort of thing.  But he also remembers the important stuff - little details of the children’s pasts that he will occasionally remind me of.  Each time, it’s like a wonderful little gift, an unexpected gift.  Better than the gift he gives me, he also delights the girls when he regales them with stories from their pasts, from times before they had memory. 

In the past year or so, I’ve also picked up a hobby that helps me here.  Digital scrapbooking - it’s scrapbooking without the mess!  It’s all digital (I have a link on my header here that will take you to my scrapbook pages, if you were interested).  My talent doesn’t even approach that of some others who do this so beautifully it brings me to laughter and tears at times, but I do enjoy doing it.  I haven’t done much in the past few months, but I’m going to get back to it. 

Right now.  I’m going to find a picture of Jadyn and journal a bit about her funny pronunciations, about how yesterday was tomato weather.  About how Mommy sprays kerfume on her wrists to smell good.  About how she’s going to marry me when she grows up and never ever leave this house.  Or maybe she will leave this house and go to another building but then I would have to move in with her.  About how she’s scared of thunder and Miss Becky at nap time.  About how she now likes carrot sticks and scrambled eggs and corn on the cob.  About how much I love having her around as a 4 year old who can go from the mild-mannered Bruce Banner to the Incredible Hulk in the blink of an eye.

So here’s a lesson to you youngins out there — don’t assume you will remember.  Find a back up plan - either document in a baby book or on video or pick up scrapbooking.  Memory doesn’t cut it (unless you’re married to Mr. Perfect — he thought he was wrong once, but it ends up he was mistaken.)

I do love ‘em so… the one with the freckles, the one with the curls, and especially the one with the attitude.  It’ll be nice to be able to read up on them in scrapbooks when I get old and decrepit and can’t remember shit.  Like, you know, next weekend….