Nothing to See Here…

My daughter, my 2^nd born, turns 21 years old today.  That’s 2 of ‘em I’ve turned out now.  Thus far, no arrests, no “Mom, I’m pregnant.” conversations, no major glitches at all.  I’m lucky.  And I’ve grown old and wise enough to know that it has very little to do with skill and a lot to do with luck. 

My daughter- the one whose driver’s license will now work in any bar or liquor store, is down in Florida on Spring Break with her college friends.  I told her “Amber, I’d better not see you show up on some Girls Gone Wild video!” and she responded “Mom, please don’t ever feel the need to share with me that you watch Girls Gone Wild videos, OK?” 

Touché.  

When you’re the mother of big kids, mobile kids, nothing is scarier than the phone ringing late at night.  You know they’re out there.  You know they are armed with vehicles.  You know they might be trying something new, or perhaps merely partaking in something they’ve tried before and liked. 

You hope the lessons you’ve impressed upon them for the past years will resonate in their heads during these times.  But even when you think, yeah, she’s a smart kid, you still must live with the knowledge that other kids maybe aren’t as smart.  And they have cars and are out there on the roads too making decisions.   

You hope your kid never gets in those cars with those kids.  You hope your kid never makes a stupid mistake and gets behind the wheel herself when she shouldn’t.  But you know that even if your kid avoids doing either of those two things, she is still out there with other people who might be stupid themselves, armed with a vehicle.   

My big girls have, over and over, promised me that they take the topic of drunk driving very seriously.  They assure me they will never drink and drive, nor get in the car with someone else who has been drinking.  They commit themselves to the designated driver model.  They say all the right things.  But I worry.  Still I worry.   

Last Friday, we all went out to dinner while Amber was in town, since she would be down on the beach partying when her special day actually arrived.  I said something about ordering a margarita, how it sounded good.  With a twinkle in my eye, I looked at her and said, “Just think, Amber, in a few days, you’ll be of age to discover the virgin territory of margaritas!”  I was being facetious, of course, as I’m sure she’s already had more than a taste of margaritas in the last couple years.  I’m not naïve.  The whole topic brings to mind a vacation I took with the girls back in 1990.  Amber was 5 and Katie was 7.  I was a single mom then, but my little sister (Hi, Jenn!) came with us.  It was my first vacation ever as a ‘grown up’ and I’m still not sure how I pulled it off, financially.  We were eating dinner out the first night and I had ordered a pina colada.  Katie asked what it tasted like, so I gave her a sip.  Amber was shocked.  I told her a little sip was fine, no big deal, she could try it too if she wanted.  She said, firmly, NO!  

When the waitress came back to our table, Amber boldly told her “My mom’s trying to make me drink alcohol!”  The little snot sold me up the river! 

Happy 21^st birthday, Amber Lyn (even though you don’t read this blog and, by the way, you were NOT named after a porn star!)  You are everything a mother could want in a daughter… beautiful, smart, determined, hard-working.  When you’re home on visits and I watch you with your little sisters, it’s enough to make me blubber like a baby.  I miss having you around but I’m so proud of you, who you are, and where you’re going.  I know you’ll have fun in Florida and I know you’ll be responsible.  Here’s sending you some birthday luck, too, in the hopes that you’ll avoid any of those other idiots who aren’t as responsible as you.    

And – if anyone tries to make you drink when you don’t want to?  Well, you just remember how brave and determined you were at age 5.  Just go snitch to the waitress on them like you did to me.  Ha!  I knew that stubborn streak would pay off when you got older….