Jan 29 2006
Men don’t make passes at girls who wear glasses…
It’s official: I have glasses.
Well, I don’t actually have them yet, but I’ve done the eye exam, chosen the frames, and now just have to go back and pick them up when they’re all ready to go.
I turned 40 and my eyes immediately began to degenerate. I suddenly was unable to read in low light and heaven forbid I had to medicate one of the children because even if I stood 10′ away from the freaking sun, I couldn’t read those stupid dosage instructions on those teeny tiny bottles of medicine. It’s really quite amazing that they’re all still alive, but it may explain why the little one slept for four days straight last time she was sick (kidding).
Not only am I getting new glasses, but {gulp, summoning courage} they’re bifocals. I do realize that bifocals these days don’t look any different from unifocals (non-bifocals?), but just me knowing that I wear bifocals is a little depressing. I almost feel as if I should run out and get one of those fake pearl chains so I can wear my bifocals around my neck. Next will be one of those walkers wearing its green fuzzy tennis ball shoes. And speaking of shoes, perhaps some sensible orthopedic black ones are in my near future.
I got to the mall a little in advance of my appointment. On the phone earlier, the nice young man (see? I’m even starting to talk like an old biddy) told me “Upper level by Dillards, right near The Gap.” Seemed easy enough, and I head straight there upon arrival at the mall and I’m not seeing it anywhere. I walk over to the Mall Directory.
“What is the name of the place?” asked my nine year old daughter.
“Just a minute, Sarah, let me read this.” I reply, scrunching up my failing eyes to read the directory board.
“But, Mom…” she says.
“Shush, watch your sister.”
“Mom, is it LENSCRAFTERS?”
“Um, yes. That’s it. Where did you see that?”
“Turn around, Mom.”
There it is, bigger than life - a huge Lenscrafters store right there. Evidently, my case of failing vision was worse than I thought.
I’m going to summon all my courage and share a picture of me in my new glasses, but be kind because I’m feeling a little fragile and quite old.
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