Jan 03 2006
I might never get off the couch again…
Exhibit A: Today when I reluctantly went back to work, there was a four pound box of Godiva chocolates from a supplier sitting right there in my office. And another supplier had sent me a bottle of Dom Perignon.
Exhibit B: When I returned home after work, there was a package from Juici with my brand new merlot Kashwere robe and slippers.
Exhibit C: That obedient little guy, Tivo, recorded me some stuff I really want to watch (including today’s Oprah, and she totally recommended the Kashwere robe to me so I love her).
Exhibit D: The children are neslted all snug in their beds.
Exhibit E: I DON’T WANNA GO TO WORK TOMORROW!
Remember that episode of The Simpsons where Homer totally tries to gain enough weight to get over 300 pounds so he can claim disability and quit work? ‘Cause if I could get disability for that, I think I have a shot. The Godiva would help, but I have mad skills in the weight gain area, people. I think I could do it.
Vicki, my Weight Watcher leader, might give me that disappointed look, but she’d have to bring her skinny ass to my HOUSE to do it because I’d be on my couch unwilling to burn any calories lest I jeopardize my disability leave (I’ve seen Heraldo - someone could be following me with a camera totally trying to ruin my gig).
Or maybe I’m just in a chocolate stupor letting the softness of my new robe lull me into lucid dreaming.
Damn reality… always raining on my parade.
