Dec 27 2005
I think I might need to lop off a limb or something…
I have my Weight Watchers meeting on Thursday. I missed last Thursday because I was ankle deep in vomit (what? you didn’t know I survived Puke-fest 2005?). You’d think that if I personally had vomited up all my internal organs, it could possibly HELP with the weigh in. No, no. I was sick on Saturday but she-who-cleans-it-up knows better than to puke. Who would clean up MY puke? Nobody. Therefore I didn’t puke.
Are you tired of me talking about the puke? Just be glad I don’t talk about the diarrhea.
Anyway, all of that aside, I ate approximately 4,792 Christmas cookies over the past several days. So I’m thinking the only way I can look Cheerful-Weight-Watcher-Vickie in the eyes is to lop off a leg and take on the Tiny Tim like face, all angelic and optimistic, and ask sweetly (with a British accent, of course) “Would it be okay if I weighed in without my crutches?”
I think then, with the loss of one entire limb, I might pull off a “Oh, look - you didn’t gain a thing!” success story and maybe with the Tiny Tim patheticism, I might even get a smile and a hug. Or even better - a cookie.
ps: For the purpose of full disclosure, you should know that I originally spelled diarrhea wrong AND that my handy spell-checker has told me that patheticism is not a word and I chose to trump my power over it and use the non-word anyway.
pss: No need to thank me for NO PICTURES on this post. What, they would have been puke filled, poop filled, fat filled ugly, ugly things. Blech.
