Nothing to See Here…

It’s over and the kids are going to bed. In years past, this would have been prime time for raiding their candy and taking the good stuff. But I shall be good and mind my ‘diet’. I made it through two school Halloween parties without eating a bite of the stuff, but I did partake a bit this evening. But it’s in my past.

Wanna know what my costume was? I pretended to be someone two sizes smaller than I really am!! Yes, yes… tight jeans with my gut hanging over - I figured THAT would keep me from eating too much.

It rained here ALL evening so we didn’t get as many trick-or-treaters as usual. So there is a 20-pound bag of ‘fun size’ candy bars just calling my name. My little one was oblivious to this whole CANDY thing. She isn’t wise to the power of the cocoa bean yet. She kept picking up the damn things and pretending they were telephones. “Hello? Hello?” She’s not that bright (proof enough that she’s mine).

My 3 year old lasted about 20 minutes trick-or-treating in the rain. Then she came home and “helped” me give out candy. Because visitors were few and far between, she mostly just stood in the doorway shouting “Does anybody want our candy? We have our light on!” The neighbors were cracking up.

Here’s the thing about trick-or-treating in the rain — it requires umbrellas, really. I think most responsible people have these. Tonight, I saw umbrellas large enough to keep small countries dry bobbing down the sidewalk. Me? I’m scrambling to find an umbrella or two for my husband to use when taking the kids out. Why do I even KEEP these old umbrellas with the metal pokey things sticking out? It must be just so I can yell at my kids and say “Put that damn broken umbrella away! You’re going to put your sister’s eye out with that!”

I’m 40 years old and I had to borrow and umbrella from my MOTHER who happened to have her “spare” in her car. WHY DIDN’T I GET ANY OF THOSE GENES FROM HER? Me, I’d be out there like a drowned rat with kids using fancy dress up lace parasols in an effort to stay dry. I suck (but, say it with me, not in the good way).

I’m beat - time to go to bed. Back to work tomorrow when I should have plenty of time for blogging.