Nothing to See Here…

So I left my house at 5AM for a 6:50AM flight that should have put me in Chicago well before 8AM in order to catch a 9:10AM connection to London.

Only there were storms in Chicago.

So my St. Louis flight wasn’t allowed to take off until PAST 10AM.

But that didn’t stop them from loading us up and pushing back from the gate “on time” just so we could still in that stupid plane for hours.

And of course the storms that wouldn’t allow us to come in didn’t stop my 9:10AM London flight from leaving out of Chicago. It was delayed only by a few minutes.

So I got to Chicago just past 11AM and the next flight out is at 5:10PM. That’s SIX FUCKING HOURS of numb-butt in the airport. Six. Count ‘em.

And so let’s not even focus on the fact that I will have burned TWELVE fucking hours before I ever get in the air for London. Let’s focus instead on the fact that my arrival is now planned for 6:50AM local time in the UK. What does that mean? It means me rushing to my hotel and taking a 2 minute shower in order to make my 8AM meeting.

So now it’s been 18 hours since I left my house and if I’m lucky, I got some sleep on the plane. The flight is 6 hours. And then I have another 10 hours of corporate dronedom and then a “team dinner” to take the tally up to maybe 35 or more hours between leaving MY bed at home and doing a face plant in the hotel bed.

I’m too old for this shit. Toooooooo old.

And since I’m on a roll, let me complain about even more:

~ I hate paying five bucks for a freaking cup of coffee. I don’t even care that it goes on my expense report and I get reimbursed - it’s the POINT of it. Five dollars. Gah.

~ Why doesn’t the St. Louis airport have Wi-Fi? We’re not some podunk backwater city. Sheesh, it’s humiliating that we don’t have it.

~ Why can’t Chicago O’Hare set up their Wi-Fi access so that when I “find wireless networks” and twenty-seven of them come up, I can easily tell which one is the appropriate one to select? Why do I have to play trial and error with a dozen or more UNnamed or generically named networks? Idiots.

~ Why can’t the freaking airports put power outlets at decent intervals? Why do I have to go playing Sherlock freaking Holmes in order to be able to use my laptop?

~WHY DOES EVERY AIRPORT IN THIS COUNTRY CONSTANTLY HAVE TO TAUNT ME WITH THE FRAGRANT AROMA OF CINNABON????? Don’t they know I’m fat? Sheesh.

~ Why am I constantly surrounded with people who think they are so important that everyone needs to hear their entire cell phone conversation just to prove how important they are?

~ Why do they need to fill the paper towel things in the bathroom soooo full that in order to get ONE towel, I must take a stack of twenty? Grrrrrrrrr……

~ Why do they design the toilet stalls with doors that open IN instead of OUT knowing that people will be trying to get in the stall with luggage and such and then somehow figure out how to get the door closed?

~ Why can’t I be trusted to flush my own toilet? I’m tired of the damn toilet flushing three times before I even get my pants down. What am I doing wrong?

~ Why oh why do people walking down the airport concourse think it’s OK to just STOP right in the middle? Doesn’t common sense dictate that when there are throngs of people walking, one should walk to the side before stopping? Am I the ONLY one who is smart enough to figure this out? I can’t believe that because I’m really not all that smart (just ask my husband).

I suppose I should count my blessings. I have wireless and the Chicago airport is set for access. I brought my rolling laptop case instead of the shoulder one I usually bring so my shoulder and back are spared. I am booked in business class so I should get some sleep on the flight (but chances are I will stay awake and watch back to back movies since I never have a chance to watch movies these days). I should feel lucky, I guess.

But I don’t. I’m bitchy and crabby and tired and my butt is numb. I only hope the rest of the trip is smooth and uneventful.

Such is the glamorous life of travel. [groan]