Sep 18 2005
Don’t be dissing the WH!
I mentioned our family trek to Waffle House in my last post and Russ commented derogatorily about this bastion of fine dining. For shame, Russell Calvin Anthony Peterschmidt! (you should know that I’ve never met Russ before and I have no clue what his full name is, but I am a mother of five and so when I want to shame someone, it’s my prerogative to simply make up a nice long you-are-soooooo-in-trouble sounding one, don’t you agree?)
We (my family and I) completely lack any good breeding and/or class and so we love the WH. We were delighted when one recently opened near us. But even before that, we were willing to drive a bit of distance to enjoy eating at one. Mostly WH is a road trip sort of place and we always stop and eat there when we are traveling around the country via automobile.
In my past, I worked for a company headquartered in Atlanta, which is also the HQ for the esteemed Waffle House company. In Atlanta, they have them nearly on every corner. I am pretty sure they simply airlift them in and drop them down with the employees already slinging greasy hash (scattered, covered, smothered, chunked, sliced, diced, etc.) and the jukebox playing Johnnie Cash’s “I fell in to a burning ring of fire….” song. You could be walking down the street and the empty lot on your right suddenly - bam - has a fully operational Waffle House, complete with a crabby gum-chewing waitress holding a pot of coffee saying “Well, come on - what do you want? I ain’t got all day, honey.”
Some parts in and around Atlanta have Waffle Houses directly across the street from other Waffle Houses. This is simply to insure one needn’t be forced to make a pesky and unnecessary left-hand turn in order to enjoy some cheese eggs and raisin toast with apple butter. It’s genius, pure genius.
The only things they have more of than Waffle Houses in Atlanta are streets with the name “Peachtree” in them. It’s crazy how many Peachtree streets they have.
I would fly into Hartsfield International Airport (and, for the record, when you’re leaving from Atlanta and your boarding pass says Gate 1, don’t get excited and think you got lucky with a close gate, because that one will burn you in the butt at this particular airport), and I would go to the Hertz counter to check in for my rental car. I would then go to their nifty direction-providing computer and here’s what the print-out would say:
Take Peachtree Street down to Peachtree Avenue. Turn right at the Waffle House. Now, follow that for 6 more Waffle Houses (about 3 miles) and then make a left on Peachtree Blvd. Follow Peachtree Blvd. up past 17 Waffle Houses. You’ll go past Peachtree Drive and Peachtree Way. Once you pass Peachtree Station Road, start looking out for your next turn. There’s a Waffle House right on the corner. Turn down Peachtree Industrial and drive for 4 more Waffle Houses and there you are! Your designated location is 123 Peachtree Circle, right next door to a Waffle House - you can’t miss it!
In the fine print, it does say “When walking or driving on vacant lots, beware of falling Waffle Houses.”
Great, now I want me some Waffle House. Thanks a lot, Russ!
