Nothing to See Here…

This morning, I walked into the bagel shop to grab coffee and I got the pick-me-up of my week. There was a little girl with her mother and she said “Oh, Mommy… isn’t that lady pretty? Look at her dress!”

So I’m paying it forward, you look marvelous!! Really, you do!

Here’s the thing - I needed this compliment today. There has recently been a news story that has been lobbed around and commented on in various blogs and dissected on a few debate boards I visit. It’s about a woman who felt mistreated by a doctor and filed a complaint. You see, this woman is fat. And the doctor wasn’t all that respectful of her and she stood up.

He evidently told her that men don’t find fat women attractive. That her fat husband would die before her and she’d be alone because no man would find her attractive. While this may be true in many cases, I don’t believe it to be a MEDICAL opinion and I don’t understand why this doctor felt the need to impart that little pearl of wisdom to this woman.

I am reading the comments from the general public and they cut me to the core, being a fat chick myself. People are saying things like:

~ Well, I guess the truth hurts. She should get over it!
~ This woman must be in denial.
~ He told her something she didn’t want to hear, too friggin’ bad.
~ This is ridiculous! He did his job!

What the fuck happened to basic human decency? To being NICE? To treating others respectfully?

You know what - here is the crux of it for me. Doctors have a code of ethics. The VERY FIRST principle in this code is this:

A physician shall be dedicated to providing competent medical care, with compassion and respect for human dignity and rights.

Do you see that bolded part? Yeah, that applies to FAT patients too! Go figure…

And this little Harvard Medical piece is quite interesting. It basically tells us that there is this big issue in the medical profession by which those who are supposed to be helping us and caring for us instead often choose to treat us like crap. It says that often times, fat people (mostly chicks) will choose NOT to even keep up on medical care because they just don’t want to face the indignity of being made to feel like they are not worthy of human compassion and respect.

I have been there. Let me assure you - I’m not in denial about my weight. I’m not sensitive about it. I don’t mind the word fat as it accurately describes me. I am healthy and active. I have a job and five kids and a house and low blood pressure and a cholestorol level that’s just fine, thank you. Do I need to lose weight? Yes. Should I be treated as the scourge of society? Fuck, no! And yet, once not so long ago I went to my primary care physician and in his infinite wisdom, he chose to take this “tough love” approach and just laid right into me, no holds barred. I hadn’t even yet opened my mouth to tell him why I had come to see him. But after his little tirade, I burst into tears - there was no holding them back.

I didn’t file a complaint - I merely left and never returned to him. I switched doctors. But that fucker may still be doing the same thing to other patients - BREAKING his own code of ethics and doing harm beyond belief. Maybe I should have filed a complaint.

I’m so angry over all of it.

But this morning, a little girl told her mommy how pretty I was in my dress and that made up for it all. So I’m letting the anger go right now. But I WILL be back to this topic, you can bank on it.